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You've experienced focalism many times, and most instances were harmless. We've all made impulse purchases we later regretted. But you immediately recognize it in your friends, don't you? " has the potential to diminish the importance of what you've always believed was important for a healthy, go-the-distance relationship. But I bet we would agree on what it takes to create a relationship that stands the test of time and the unavoidable trials of life. In fact, leaning into the right person myth almost guarantees they won't.We've all driven miles out of our way to get a favorite dessert, fast food sandwich, or specialty coffee. Similarly, we've tried our best to buy something, attend something, or contact someone that didn't work out. unfortunately, those very things get lost or downgraded in the bliss of "we're the exception to all the rules" passion. All the Wrong Options Before we move on, I want to go back to the "maybe a baby will help" idea.Focalism is the brain's tendency to magnify one thing to the exclusion of everything else. Once the sizzle subsides, somebody is going to wake up and wonder how he or she got into this mess. Makes you wonder if this right person phenomenon is nature's way of ensuring the human race survives even if relationships don't. Give up or soldier on in a lifeless, passionless relationship.
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Twenty-four hours later, we were relieved that it didn't. Couples begin to believe no one has ever loved the way they love. Treating what's important as unimportant has a price tag. Perhaps you've already paid that tab a time or two. Bringing a baby into a troubled relationship is a bad idea for many reasons.
Focalism, along with a short list of other cognitive biases, has the potential to trick us into making bad decisions. Perhaps it's why you capitulated and bought a book about something you always assumed you could figure out on your own. Not least of which is that one of the most morally vulnerable times in the life of a man is when his wife or girlfriend is pregnant.
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While adding a dose of physical involvement into the mix makes a relationship more exciting and enjoyable, it also makes it more complicated. Did it have anything to do with sexual incompatibility?