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Proverbs states the danger with classic simplicity: ‘Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain.’ () Beauty is vain in the sense that it will fade. It is only a matter of time till that little component that we are basing so much on starts to vanish and must be replaced by attraction founded on character and covenant. In practice, with our culture’s obsession with appearance and our own fallenness, keeping physical appearance in its place is easier said than done. Lots of guys ask me if they should date a woman they’re not physically attracted to.As Pastor Matt Chandler puts it, Gravity always wins. Marrying a gorgeous woman without godly character doesn’t make any sense. Let’s go back to Proverbs – the whole verse this time – for the proper relationship between character and physical beauty when we’re evaluating a potential spouse. If beauty and character were to fight, character wins every time. They usually have someone specific in mind, a friend with godly character.Your hearts will get entangled, and disaster is likely to occur.

The guy will always mention her godly character, but eventually admit that ‘she was cute’.

(I don’t think I’ve ever heard a woman mention that.) Usually, guys feel sheepish when they say that, but they shouldn’t. At the same time, guys, we know that physical beauty should have a warning label.

So that we’ll be attracted to the right kind of woman.

Again, if you’re not physically attracted to a woman, don’t lead her on.

If you’re using pornography or giving into fantasy, now is the time to stop.


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