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But on the off chance it would crush your wife to be told everything, just tell her about Ms. After a few tense years, we started couples therapy.
During therapy, my husband revealed that he was never in favor of the openness.
So with your couples therapist there to mediate, tell him your marriage is either open or closed.
You're not interested in being his cuckold and he can't point to his trauma to force you into that role.
You're a handsome couple—thanks for enclosing the lovely picture (sometimes it's nice to see the face of the person I'm responding to!